Gaussian

Satellites tie themselves into a bow
and then crash. Their flight paths,
shown as dotted lines in Figure A,
used the bunny-ear method.
Everyone loses the space race.
The billionaires will never find out
what went wrong. The truth is that as long
as “ouija” rhymes with “squeegee” in
most dialects, anything is possible.
Some of the bright youth of
today might suggest that, in order to
restore order, we should spell “squeegee”
like “sqouija.” No one’s taught them yet
that standardized spelling is the only thing
holding this country together. And this is
due to the fact that I really haven’t ever
seen a job posting for a philosopher.
Who paid Socrates’ rent, anyway?
Assuming he didn’t live in his parents’
basement, because basements didn’t exist
in Ancient Greece, I’m convinced that the
old man worked for the state as a spy. Which
brings me to my next point: spies have to be
excellent actors. Is there a Drama Club to
Secret Service pipeline? Of course, I’ve
never heard a theatre kid keep quiet
about anything, but keep in mind that it
could all be part of the act. Everything makes
so much sense when you remember that even
your goldfish is lying.

Ren Koppel Torres

Ren Koppel Torres is a Jewish Chicano teen and the editor in chief of Alebrijes Review. Named a member of the inaugural Austin Youth Poet Laureate cohort, his work is published/forthcoming in National Poetry Quarterly, Writer’s Digest, Lumiere Review, and elsewhere. He loves cilantro, pickup trucks, cacti, and microtonal rock.