The Advertisements | The First Day of Autumn

The Advertisements

A man read a newspaper. He saw an ad for dog food: “Free dog food!” He read more, “but you have to bark like a dog!” Then he read another ad: “Free chicken sandwich!” He read on, “but you have to come dressed as a chicken!” The man kept reading: “Free ice cream! But you have to scream into a bucket of cream!” Fed up, the man decided to throw the paper away. Instead, he turned on the television. He saw an ad for roses: “Free roses! But you have to tell me that you love me.” The man laughed out loud, “What a deal!” he said, as he picked up the phone to call.

The First Day of Autumn

A man ran into a pile of leaves. It was the first day of autumn. Red leaves. Yellow leaves. Orange leaves. Purple leaves. But no blue leaves? He filled his brief case with leaves. He was late to work, so he darted to the subway. On the subway, he pulled out a yellow leaf, which was also a pen, and began to write a letter to his boss.

Dear Boss, I’ve brought some leaves on the subway and it is autumn. Dear Boss, please forgive my tardiness, for it is autumn. The man ran out of the subway and climbed the tall staircases into his office. He poured out the leaves onto his desk, as he sang a song about autumn, “The leaves in autumn, oh the joy! /The leaves in autumn, I rejoice!”

Jose Hernandez Diaz

Jose Hernandez Diaz is a 2017 NEA Poetry Fellow. He is from Southern California. He is the author of a collection of prose poems: The Fire Eater (Texas Review Press, 2020). His work appears in The American Poetry Review, Georgia Review, Iowa Review, Poetry, and in The Best American Nonrequired Reading. Currently, he is an Associate Editor for Frontier Poetry and Guest Editor for Palette Poetry. Additionally, he has taught creative writing with Litro Media and Sevilla Writers House.